About Relationship Coaching

Slam!!!

You feel the walls reverberate from the impact of the door shutting as you walk away. Huffing. Puffing. You’re enraged.

And then, tears.

You were so mad and yet… now you feel so hurt.

“Why doesn’t he listen to me?!”

“Why doesn’t she understand me?!”

This isn’t the marriage you thought you would have when you said, “I do.”

You love him. He loves you. So why is this so hard?

You reach out wanting to hold your spouse. But the rift created by the hurt is already too great. So now you’re left feeling alone, wanting a touch and a listening ear that is just out of reach.

Your heart hurt so much. It’s starting to affect work. You still go to church out of habit, believing maybe the habit will bring you some sense of normalcy. Smiles on your face, pretending like things are okay, but behind closed doors, it’s taking everything you have not to fall apart.

Everybody knows “Communication is key” and “always communicate.”

You’re both talking to each other, but neither of you feels heard, neither of you feels understood.

Sometimes you raise your voice because maybe, just maybe, he’ll finally listen to you. But the louder you get, the less he hears.

Sometimes you decide to stay quiet because maybe, just maybe, if you don’t say anything, she’ll stop yelling at you.

Neither of you wants to divorce.

Both of you are willing to do anything to create a great marriage with the one you’re already married to.  You will not fail at the most important relationship you care about the most.

You’re almost at your last straw. The person you fell in love with, the partner you believed in building a life with, they’re right there. All you need is a way to communicate effectively with them.

You want to see eye-to-eye. You want to work together as partners! Not against each other.

Simple conversations can turn into a fight easily. If both of you are willing to make it work, it is almost impossible to make it fail.

You start to feel distant. You want to reach out. But you’re afraid your partner might lash out. The other option is to withdraw… But the withdrawal leads to more hurt because you crave connection.

You’re both starving for connection and intimacy.

Change starts here with you—as husband and wife.

You know honesty is essential in a marriage. But lately, you’ve been fighting so much you don’t want to say anything anymore. Perhaps you’ve started “sweeping it under the rug.”

Imagine feeling so safe and confident with your spouse you can say anything to him/her without fear it would trigger a fight. Have the confidence to be fully transparent within the bounds of respect.

After all, you have your children looking up to you. You are their very first models of relationships. Maybe you’ve already become aware that some habits and beliefs you have about relationships are the very same ones your parents used to do/have. How they handle their anger or perhaps use the silent treatment to avoid conflict, maybe even their views that “men can’t be trusted” or “women are irrational.” Perhaps you’ve noticed your children have already picked up your temper and behavioral response(s) to stress. You want to break that cycle and be a model for healthy relationships. Because healing the inner child in you allows you to raise your children in love, grace, and patience.

What’s going to give you that happy soul-mate marriage?

Flour. Eggs. Salt. – These are key ingredients to make any baked good. Each one is essential. Each one plays its role. Each one is so crucial that your baked goodie becomes a disaster if you take one of them out.

In the same token, a SoulMate marriage requires: Respect. Trust. Honesty. Each one is essential to forging a SoulMate marriage. If you take one out, a marriage will crumble.

Together, we will learn the skills necessary to successfully add these key ingredients to the relationship so that you can communicate effectively with each other.

We won’t just talk about principles and feel-good advice. We will take actionable steps to apply every new skill so you can once again feel love, hope, peace, and deep joy.

I help you discover the exact behaviors leading to the hurt and disconnect in your relationship, AND I will teach you the exact NEW behaviors you’ll need to nourish love and respect in your relationship.

Let’s talk about how we’ll work together…

First of all, we’ll be working together online via Zoom. Online coaching has proven to be just as effective (if not more, as in-person coaching). I’m in my home, you’re in your home.… and it can be easier to be transparent and vulnerable when you’re at your “home base.” The more truthful both of you can be with me, the more effective our work together will be.

The great news is, we work quickly. We’ll work together for three months, meeting once a week.

We’ll go over the work you’ve done for the past week, such as how you’ve applied the new skills you’ve learned to your day-to-day lives. I’ll guide you and your spouse through Skilled Discussions, where you will learn how to discuss those “hot issues” but with your “seatbelts” on, keeping you both safe and secure while maintaining honesty and respect.

I won’t solve your problems for you. I will teach you how to successfully solve them as husband and wife so that years after working with me, you will still be able to talk about anything without fighting.

Plus, what makes our work together so effective is I never ask my couples to do something my husband and I have never done ourselves or something that isn’t already proven to work for other couples.

By the end of our time together…

You will have all the tools necessary to sustain a lifelong marriage of love and peace, no matter what new challenges come your way!

You’ll have a newfound love and respect for each other, and you’ll be able to model that love and respect to your children.

This is for them, too, you know… you’re setting up future generations for happy, healthy relationships!

I know how hard it may be to reach out for help…

… and have a stranger step into the sacred space of your marriage. So if you’ve made it this far, I applaud you. And I want to encourage you.

If you are ready to stop the cycle of fighting and receive help from someone who has been in the trenches and practices what they preach, then give me a call at (951) 387-8554.

Let’s schedule a 30-minute complimentary consultation session and determine whether we are a good fit to work together.